Step away from the phone. It's not gonna ring.
Based on what I’m reading out there in the blogosphere and what I’m hearing from my lady friends, getting pumped and dumped is the very worst thing that can happen to a woman. What is a pump and dump you ask? Well, it’s when a lady and a gentleman go out on a date (or two, or three or however many it takes) and get down to the sexy time and then the gentleman fails to call the lady back. Or fades out. They never see each other again, no more sexy time happens and the lady runs to her friends/the internet to cry FOUL.
Obviously this happens to men as well. I am ashamed to admit that I am guilty of perpetrating a few pump and dumps in my time. (Why? Well that’s a whole post on its own. I’ll give you a hint: It rhymes with “Rad Mex”). It’s not something I’m proud of because EVERYONE deserves at least the courtesy of a “thanks, but no thanks” text/call. However I don’t see a lot of men, either online or in real-life, complaining quite as vocally as women do about this phenomenon. So this post is mostly aimed at the ladies.
So ladies – I’ll let you in on something. This is so, SO far from the worst thing that can happen to you. I don’t need to go into all of the various disasters and calamities that life throws our way, but in the grand scheme of things, having someone not call you back after sex is just not a big deal. In fact, it’s a GOOD thing. A good thing? What? No I’m not high. Lemme explain…
This guy did you a FAVOR. He did you a huge solid. Because this was not the dude for you. And aren’t you glad that you found this out early rather than 6 months down the line when you’ve become all attached and lovey-dovey with him? You are now free to roam about the country to seek another victim. Uh…man. Of course I meant man.
It doesn’t even really matter WHY he never called back. He just didn’t. And that is perfectly OK. You can’t control the actions of others. There is no strategy, no trickery or magic you can use to make the dude call you back. In fact you don’t WANT a call back, not from someone who is not the right fit for you!
What you can, and should do (yes I am going to tell you what to do) is ask yourself one question – WHY am I so upset about this? Why is this person, that you have known for maybe a couple of weeks, that has invested NOTHING in you, having such a profound effect on you? Why are you letting this virtual stranger dictate the way you feel about yourself and your worth as a human being? STOP. You don’t have to do this to yourself. Be disappointed. Joke around with your friends, complain a little bit. But then realize that you are mourning the loss of something that was never there. This guy was never real. He owes you nothing. But guess what – you don’t owe him anything either! Not a thought, not a word, not a text. Forget closure. His not calling back is all the closure you need.
The Reluctant Monogamist 