Sexting – You’re Doing it Wrong!

I received what I am fairly confident is the WORST attempt at sexting in the history of the modern universe (or at least as far back as texting was invented):

NotGettingAnyXXX:  Bj

Sent:  1:46 am

Yup.  That’s all folks.  Just Bj.  At nearly 2 in the morning on a Wednesday.   Not even BJ, as I assume that in what I can only hope was this man’s drunken state, it was too onerous to capitalize that 2nd letter.  What a delightful thing to wake up to in the morning!

Man, I love dating.

First Impressions – You’re Doing it Wrong!

I received this gem via SingleParentMeet.com:

From:  CluelessGentleman69

To:  Me

Subject:  I WOULD LOVE TO ROCK YOUR CRAIDDLE

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE.. AS I STARTED TO WRITE DEEP IN THOUGHT, THINKING ABOUT WHAT I’M GOING TO WRITE OR SAY TO YOU.. I START TO FEEL THE SCENT OF YOUR BODY CLOSE TO ME, AND A TINGLE OF AROUSAL ALL OVER MY BODY BECAUSE OF YOUR PRESENCE.. OH HOW I WOULD LOVE TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOU